Those who know me know that I’ll watch almost anything on TV. This is not to say that I’m completely indiscriminate, just that I have varied taste. I am as equally drawn to the gold standard of Curb Your Enthusiasm or The Simpsons as I am to something like The Glutton Bowl, a competitive eating gross out fest, or The Littlest Groom, a truly painful reality dating contest to win the heart of a dwarf (both of which aired on FOX -- where else?!).
While the television industry continues to drive a stake into the heart of the sitcom, they are breathing life into the Frankenstein that is reality TV, and we the American public are the benefactors. The only chance the sitcom has now of surviving is if HBO -- the last bastion of quality original programming on TV -- chooses to get into the game (and word is they’re developing something).
Reality TV is evolving in ways I didn’t think possible. It all started out so innocently; competitive shows like Survivor and Big Brother, and zit-fare like The Real World gave us a chance to watch everyday folks show us just how cruel, embarrassing, vacuous, shallow, and most of all, deeply insecure we are as a species. We occasionally laughed, but mostly we just felt good about ourselves, and some of us watching dreamed of cast member status. Fortunately, there was always Season Two to audition for.
But, like any good virus solely concerned with self-preservation, the format sensed that everyday folks are sort of...well, everyday. We needed to know what it’s like to be a “celebrity,” even if we loosely interpret the word.
Over the past couple of years, two really great shows have given us insight into what it’s like to be a part of the upper 1%. In 2003, we saw the launch of “The Surreal Life” a show that according to the official Web site would bring together celebrities to “share a home and a series of outrageous and life-changing events for twelve days and nights that can only be described as surreal.” If you missed it, you missed some breathtakingly awful TV. The concept really began to blossom in the second season as Tammy Faye Messner (a.k.a. Bakker), Erik Estrada, Ron Jeremy, Traci Bingham, Trishelle (who?), and Rob Van Winkle (a.k.a. Vanilla Ice and the official Has-Been poster child) showed us just how special it is to be famous.
This year’s Growing Up Gotti is so atrocious that I can only hope it stays on forever. I don’t think I have the capacity to watch every week, but once in a while, when I’m feeling particularly down in the dumps, I’d like to know that the tonic for my troubles is just a remote click away, something to remind me just how great it is not to be named Gotti. My favorite moments are the ones where I get to watch Victoria Gotti’s three “Rhodes scholar” boys fight with each other, usually over hair gel.
But wait… there’s more. Three shows have just recently been announced that my Tivo is actually salivating over.
The first will give us a rare peek into the world of rock star career resuscitation as MTV readies “The Remaking of Vince Neil” (it should be noted that Vince is a reality TV professional and was a member of The Surreal Life’s first season cast).
The second is a still-untitled NBC show featuring former Neil band mate, and amateur porn star Tommy Lee who will magnanimously allow us to enter the inner circle that is his life as he goes off to experience “college life.” While I’d like to think that Tommy might join the crew team or edit the school newspaper, I think it’s more likely he’ll get caught screwing the Dean’s daughter in the quad or vomiting in 17th Century French Poetry.
Last but absolutely, positively not least is the one that I can’t believe is true, but I promise to pray for it’s successful development every day from now until it actually airs: a reality show Bravo is working on starring Bobby Brown. This show promises not to disappoint.
Of course, what always comes to mind is “How do you top TV like this?” Well, I’m not sure you do, but in the extremely off chance that someone with the juice to develop TV programming is reading this, I would like to suggest a few other folks who’s day-to-day lives we’d like… no, we deserve to see into: Gary Busey, Courtney Love, James Brown, Mickey Rourke, Robert Blake, and quite possibly the cream of the crop, Michael Jackson. Hollywood, the challenge has been issued.
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